31 Days of Romance – Day 3

Next step in the search for more romance in your life: know your partner.  Are they adventurous, laid back, over the top?

Listen to this romantic memory from Miss Aimee:

“He set up one of those pop up canopy tent things on the deck in the backyard and hung blankets and had throw pillows; made it all nice like a little luxury getaway in India.  Had candles everywhere and gave me a nice massage and foot rub and we slept out there…all this to tell me he loved me for the first time.”

Wow…can’t you picture it?  He bought freakin’ throw pillows for this woman!  A+ for him and his creativity and dedication to her!  Now if I was reading this and thought, “Oooh!  I want that too” and then looked at my partner, expecting the same kind of treatment, I might find myself in for a rude awakening if this is totally outside the reality of who he is.

Early on when my husband and I were first dating, he surprised me at the beach one day.  Showed up unannounced, where he knew I would be, with a bottle of cheap champagne in a brown paper bag, plastic cups and roses picked from his yard.  It makes me smile to this day thinking about it. We were broker than broke at the time, both of us, so I took no offense to cheap champagne.  I appreciated his gesture.

couple on beach

We spent the rest of the afternoon sneaking swigs of champagne under a beach towel and giggling conspiratorially.  We were the only ones in the world that day, much like Miss Aimee must have felt in that backyard canopy.  Did I get any throw pillows out of the day?  That would be making the assumption my husband even knew what the heck a throw pillow was back then!  Ha!  No, no throw pillows for me.

So while the details of Aimee’s Indian inspired getaway may have been outside the realm of possibility for my husband, he was still able to create a getaway that was representative of who he was at that point in time.  Neither one is right, neither one is wrong.  For me to have a level of expectation beyond what would be comfortable or natural for him would be silly.

So know your partner.  Be gracious and appreciative for the gestures they do make.  Recognize their attempts.  Don’t compare what others are doing to your own experience.

More than 28 years later, he still likes to surprise me with random treats (and the wine has definitely gotten better!).  This is his “style” and I love it!

4 thoughts on “31 Days of Romance – Day 3

  1. Great perspective. After 31 years of marriage I have come to appreciate the things that make my husband unique and the ways he shows me love. He may not always make the big gestures but the things he does, reflect who he is and what he values. I have come to recognize that if he is giving me his best effort that is more than enough.

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