31 Days of Romance – Day 2

So in terms of romance, you’ve decided you want to attract more of it into your life.  On Day 1 your first assignment was to start the conversation with your partner; what is romance to each of you, test the waters as to your partner’s receptiveness to the whole idea.

Flowers

Before we go any further though – we need to know one thing…how do you feel about yourself?  Let me set the stage for where I want to go with this.

Years ago we would go to Texas to visit my husband’s family.  My mother in law, in her late 70’s at the time, bless her heart, as the Texans say, would corner me anytime we went to go out some where and pepper me with beauty suggestions.  “You sure you don’t want to put some lipstick on before we go out?” or “We can wait for you hon until you fix your hair and put your face on.”  I was in my 20’s, from southern California, with a new baby and to be honest, didn’t give a rat’s ass what I looked like.  If I had pants and shoes on, I was good to go.  Her well meaning questioning only led me to rebel more!

Over the years I came to understand that being appealing for her man was an important objective each day for her.  She took it seriously, as many women of her era did.  I’m sure I appalled her a time or two with my no frills regimen!

Truth is though, my husband could have cared less.  He would have been oblivious to any primping of any kind that I might have done.

I was truly missing the point though…how did being plain Jane everyday make me feel inside?  Did I feel desirable or sexy?  Did I feel strong in our relationship?  Did I feel strong as a woman in this world?

Shocked by her old fashioned sensibilities, I assumed she put lipstick on an an effort to please her man, for him, for his sake.  Looking back on it now, I know she did it for herself, for her own strength.  It made her feel good and beautiful and powerful; and oh how powerful she was, a true queen in her kingdom.

So my question to you is, how do you feel about you?  Do you feel powerful in your daily walk?  Because I can tell you right now, if you are looking for a little romance to make you feel better about yourself, stronger in your world, stronger in your relationship, you are setting yourself up for some bitter disappointment.

Look at where you are in your life.  Are you happy with who you are?  You have to decide what makes you feel strong in your own skin and then do more of that!  For some it might be make up and a new hair do, for others it might be a new dress like I got, or new comfy sweats so you can relax!  Whatever it is, whatever you define it to be for you, work it out sister!  Add more of it to your life and you will see a shift in how the universe looks at you, after all, you don’t mess with a queen in her kingdom.

Romance – The Dress

I was at a conference recently and one morning, from the 5th floor I spotted a woman down below in the lobby in an awesome dress that caught my eye.  Black and white geometrical pattern, short black sweater over the top…I loved it!

pink bubbles

Once I was downstairs, getting some coffee, awaiting my next session to begin, who do I run into, but the woman in the cute dress!  I compliment her, her shoes are super cute too.  Unbeknownst to me, she is the speaker in my next session.

As I watched her for the next hour doing her thing, I began to think, I could totally rock that dress!

Now for many of you, this may not seem like any big earth shattering thought, but for me it was.  You see, I have spent the last nine years working in warehouses, my last experience being with Amazon.  Jeans, t-shirt, hair clip and off I’d go!  I had professional business attire, but did not incorporate dresses into my wardrobe.  We didn’t go out a lot on the weekends with the schedule I had, so it never really made sense for me to get a dress.  I also felt too big to wear what I considered dainty clothes.  I simply have not worn a dress in years!  My husband and I were trying to figure out recently the last time I wore one…sometime near 2003!

I was so inspired by the thought that I could actually wear this dress, however, that I Googled the darn thing on the break and found it online at Nordstroms.  I ordered it immediately!  It makes me laugh thinking about it.  I was almost embarrassed at ordering it.  I was really embarrassed when it arrived…I snuck it off to my closet right away where I could hide it until I had a chance to try it on when no one else was around!  It fits perfectly by the way!

Why after all this time would I feel so compelled to order this dress?   I spoke in a previous post about things my husband has done for me, especially in my jeans and t-shirt days, that I considered sweet and thoughtful, romantic if you will.

Well, that man has always loved me in a dress, he reminds me of this regularly; each time, of course, I roll my eyes and scoff at the suggestion.

Ordering this dress is my romantic gesture to him.  I may be out of my comfort zone, but he will love it…he will appreciate the thought.  I might find I actually might like wearing it!

He is gone this week on a fishing trip but we have date night planned when he comes back.  Will see if I am brave enough to bust out the dress!

Only two options – move forward or make excuses

Getting ready this morning to head to Dallas for my very first blogging conference.  This past month has been full of first time things for me, taking leaps of faith and moving forward.  This conference is is another one of those steps, one of the many small steps that will provide me a strong foundation to turnaround on.  Walk confidently into your morning people!

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Building some adventure muscles in Maui

molokini

When Bob first showed me this picture of Molokini, explaining that it was a crater off of Maui and that people snorkel there, in the crater, I thought, “Wow, that’s cool”.  But then he said we were going to go in the crater to snorkel, “Wait, what??”.  I hadn’t realized what a great big chicken ass I had become.  Too many years of all work, no play had taken their toll.  Bob has spent the last 40 years in the ocean surfing.  He has a high level of comfort in the water.  The ocean is his temple.  Me…not so much.  The thing is, I realize my adventure muscles are weak.  This is definitely one of the things I need to turnaround.  I knew I would have to work up to it.  We got a little snorkeling in each day and by the time we set out on our trip with Molokini Wild Side Eco-Adventure, I was ready!  Or at least I was fairly certain I would not hyperventilate…progress!

So what if I carefully climbed down the stairs on the back of the boat, while the kids leapt off of the front, whatever, still great adventure in my book!

DCIM100GOPROGOPR0561.

If you are ever going to go to Molokini, please consider this particular boat/tour.  They only take +/-30 people at a time.  All the other boats take more than 100 and there can be multiple boats in this spot at the same time…no fun snorkeling with hundreds of people.  Smaller boat allows them to be more agile and able to change plans for the day based on conditions.  And as a bonus, part of the fees go to fund the Pacific Whale Foundation.

Our trip to Molokini ended up being the highlight of our trip for our whole family.  Hoping you get the chance to take a great adventure soon, one that plasters a great big smile on your face!